it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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