Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
