I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
