I'm drive I can fine osifer
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
