So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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