I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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