She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
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