Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
We named our party play list daddy issues
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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