it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
