The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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