we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Houston, we have a blender
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
