If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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