Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Help. Why am I so naked?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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