ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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