the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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