I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the condom got lost in my hair
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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