I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
