I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
