your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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