TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I currently don't understand fingers.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
