he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
