Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
