so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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