I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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