if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
