We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
