I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
