So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
