I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
