Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
