Soap is not a condiment
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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