I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
