I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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