i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
porn star boner night. come get it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
