She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
