I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wish you could order shots online.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
