I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have fence marks all over my body
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
