its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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