i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
