mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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