Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
