he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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