So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
