The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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