So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
