Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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