I hate all girls vehemently.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
