i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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