I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
