Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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