If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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