we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
